I try to read the Bible every day with the goal of reading through the entire Bible every year. This morning I was reading 1 Chronicles 21. In this passage, Satan tempted David to take a census of the people. Joab fought back and said that this should not happen, yet he went out and took the census.

In this passage, Joab was very distressed because he knew that this was a matter of pride for David. David was depending upon the strength of his army instead of the power of God. He had over one million warriors, so it was a valid temptation.

In the commentary of my Bible, which is the Life Application Study Bible, there is a powerful statement. ” There is a thin line between feeling confident because you are relying on God’s power and becoming proud because God has used you for a great purpose.”

I reflected on Social Media, influencers, and the contemporary desire to idolize people who have a social media platform. I also examined myself. My journey to success as a Christian author has been slow and arduous. I do not have a social media presence. I do not have a YouTube following. I am not an influencer. Yet, I have sold more than is normal for self-published authors.

I think as a Christian author, if people are following me, then I have failed in large measure. People should follow Christ because of me. If I have little to no social media presence but I somehow glorify God through my life, then I have achieved my goal.

One of my friends, Marc Juarez, wrote me a note after reading my novel, The Shattered Vase. He said he wanted to get closer to God because of reading my book. That is the takeaway I want to achieve with every word I write or presentation I give.

To read The Shattered Vase. Please click on the following link. The Shattered Vase.

In the old testament people worshipped idols instead of God. Many times they would sacrifice to these idols. Sometimes they would even go so far as to sacrifice babies or children.

As I was reading through the old testament I questioned myself. What was it that I had elevated to idol status in my life?

Is my home an idol?

I have a beautiful home which I enjoy tremendously. Although I bought it new in 2007, it seems as if I am always working on some kind of project. This year I hope to replace a large amount of lighting and put an additional patio in my backyard.

Whenever I am doing a project in my home I always ask for my daughter’s approval. She has such a sense of style. She can visualize just what a room needs to make it look stellar. This gives me an excuse to have her come over quite often. I love having her over and working on projects together.

My home is an avenue of ministry

One of my friends came over for brunch on my patio and said that my home had the feeling of a sanctuary. It is that for me. It is where I worship my God and welcome my friends for fellowship.

My home is also a business enterprise. My upstairs is designed for guests. My daughter encouraged me to open my guest bedrooms to tenants on Airbnb. The Holy Spirit was in agreement with this idea.

I had no idea how much I would love sharing my home. It has been the most fantastic experience of my life! I have only hosted a small amount of people, because it is illegal in my city to do short term rentals. However, the people that God has directed my way have been the best I could have hoped for.

One of the things I enjoy most about being an Airbnb hostess is that I try to treat my guests as Christ would. It is easy to say your a Christian when you just go to church on Sundays. It is a much greater challenge and twice as much fun when you try to live every moment of your day as a witness to the Lord.

Because of the way I use my home I would not say that it is an idol in my life. It gives me tremendous joy and satisfaction but I don’t feel as if it impedes my worship. I would say, it rather enhances my relationship with God.

Is an idol always a thing?

I may not idolize things because, by nature, I am not materialistic. However, last year I had a problem idolizing pain from the bullying I suffered as a teenager.

It started when I went back to my hometown and visited my brother’s church. One of my classmates mentioned that I had never attended a high school reunion.

The reason why I don’t attend reunions of any kind is that I don’t live in the past. The other reason is that I was bullied. I also didn’t care much for my classmates. Of all the people in the world, they are on the bottom of the list of people I want to see again… ever.

This one conversation seemed to open a wound in my memory which I thought had long been healed. So I wrestled with this for close to a year. Wondering why a God that was good could have let this happen?

The emotional pain of being bullied became like an idol to me. I relived the pain. I cried more tears. I shared my pain with several friends.

They reacted with surprise when I told them I had been bullied. Their response was such a balm to my wound. The fact that they didn’t think I had ever been bullied revealed that my wound was not visible to others. Yet it still festered inside my mind and my heart.

When I reflect on my childhood there were some happy memories. However, there was always a feeling that I didn’t belong in that town. Those who bullied me confirmed that intuition. They were the ones who forced me out of the cage of that small town.

Sometimes I suffer the feeling of not belonging. When that happens I pray about it. I realize and accept the fact that God does not need me to be everyone’s friend. What He does need, is for me to consider him my best friend.

It has taken me a long time to see any good coming from that time of darkness but as I mature, I have become less jaded. I have even learned some lessons from this.

THE CHILD CUSTODY BATTLE WAS WHY I BLOGGED.

This horrific battle was the reason I started blogging. My first blog can be found by clicking on the following link.https://singleparentssurvivalguide.com/ I blogged a bit about the child custody issue, then blossomed into other areas: single parent dating, single parenting and some spirituality.

I had a small investment portfolio before the custody battle started. I had sacrificed and struggled for twenty years to get this money set aside. I intended for it to be used in retirement. The Attorney General of Texas took every bit of that to pay child support. They completely wiped me out.

I LEARNED NOT TO TRUST IN MONEY

Before this event I had felt pretty secure in my finances. After t

Sometimes life seems to be a test of faith.

It has been several months since the hailstorm happened. I was on my way to Maryland to see my son and my daughter-in-law. They were expecting their first child to arrive, and I wanted to visit them one more time before that marvelous event occurred.

I knew that there was bad weather coming into the state of Texas. It was heading straight for my home. This wasn’t the first time that they had predicted bad weather for my area, but I had faith in the past that no harm would come to my home.

My faith was tested.

I arrived in Maryland, and I wasn’t too terribly worried until I saw Facebook. There was a woman who had taken a picture of a bowl of golf ball-sized hail and she lived in my subdivision! Gads! I was now terrified! I imagined coming home to a house with windows busted out, shingles scattered like pepper on my lawn, and all sorts of mayhem. (One benefit of being a fiction writer is a very overactive imagination.https://store.bookbaby.com/book/the-shattered-vase)

I quickly got on my phone and texted the people who were supposed to watch my animals and asked them to check on my home and animals. They said there had been little to no damage in my area.My neighbor said the same thing. I totally freaked out. Little to no damage? I saw a bowl full of humongous hail that was posted in my subdivision.

As you can probably guess, I had little faith at this time. In fact, I was not only without faith; I was furious at God, I gave him a talking to and did not hold back. My prayers were anything but respectful and honoring to my gracious God.

Looking for a rainbow after the storm

When I got home, there were no shingles on my lawn, nor was a window broken. There was some damage, but it wasn’t life changing. When I got my faith back in line, I realized a few things. First, I have a home which is fourteen years old, and it needs a new roof. Second is that I have an outstanding home insurance company (State Farm) who has always had my back. Third, this would be a new challenge with a learning curve. My sweet agent, Kathy at State Farm, helped me on that journey.

Initially, I checked on my neighborhood Facebook app and hired what I thought was an excellent company. I have no doubt that they are good, but when I checked with Kathy, she gave me a better option.

She suggested I go with Lon Smith Roofing. Once I heard their pitch, I was overjoyed. They were going to give me a Climate flex roof https://www.certainteed.com/residential-roofing/products/landmark-climateflex/at no extra charge. This not only would protect me from further damage because it was impact resistant, but would also give me substantial savings on my insurance premium. Okay now that is a double win!

When I am faithless, how does God respond?

When I thought about how I had first responded to the hailstorm, I was ashamed. I had not had my usual faith where I knew I could calm the storms. I have in the past, through the power of God in prayer, dissipated severe storms, caused a tornado to dwindle to nothing from the expanse of a mile and had my residence protected from weather for all of fourteen years. Yet in this instance, I was faithless,

However, God remained faithful in seeing me through to the other side. He did not abandon me for a minute. If you would like to know more about God’s faithfulness, I invite you to watch the following sermon.https://gatewaypeople.com/series/the-seven-churches-of-revelation?sermon=remember-gods-faithfulness

Stay tuned to see whether I was taken advantage of or taken care of by the roofing company. Now that is a cliff hanger you do NOT want to miss! lol

75% of mental illnesses can be linked to a physical ailment.

In my case, the physical ailment was a urinary tract infection. It took a while and a lot of different medications to resolve my issue. Finally, I settled on some natural alternative medications which worked better than what the doctors had given me.

Is cussing a bad habit learned from others?

When I was a little girl I was very careful about what words I used. I remember telling others not to use bad words. However, as I got older I lost that edge.

I had some family members who had a bad habit of cussing. My mother was temperamental, when she got angry she would not use uplifting words to express her emotions. She also had a very harsh tone of voice. So it was a double whammy when she got angry! lol

In my novel, The Shattered Vase, I allowed my main character, Suzie Whatley, to endure this character weakness.

My ex could swear like a sailor.

I was married for twelve years. Although it wasn’t a daily occurence, my ex did have a tendency to use words which were not proper English. He too had difficulty with anger explosions. I am not blaming him for my problem. However, if you are surrounded by people who cuss, it is easier to pick up the bad habit.

I soon became comfortable with cussing.

There have been times when I feel as if I have been treated unfairly. When I repeat this story to others I can cuss. There are other times when someone has treated me badly. I want to call them a name when telling the story to a friend. Sometimes things break or don’t work correctly. That can lead most people to cussing. The other day a man pulled out in front of me and a string of unsavory words erupted from my mouth.

There was one time in particular when I was tempted to cuss. I blogged about this experience on my other blog. https://singleparentssurvivalguide.com/that-surgeon/

I find that when I feel victimized, I make the choice to use profanity.

I believe cussing may be linked to anger, bitterness, helplessness and victimization.

One of my favorite passages in Scripture attacks this problem head on. It is found in Ephesians 4.

²⁹ Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰ And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³² Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

What is the effect of cussing?

Is it building someone else up?

Not usually. Sometimes we do it for effect. We think if we put a cuss word into our conversation that it gives the story more emphasis. However, I have heard that profanity is the result of a weak mind trying to make a strong point. So, using profanity to make your point may reveal more about your mind than about the emphasis you were trying to relay.

In the scriptural passage above the Bible says we should only use words to build others up. But what if they are tearing you apart with words? What if they are constantly criticizing you?

In that instance, I would suggest that you walk away from the situation. There were times when Jesus did that. It is not necessary to put up with verbal abuse from others.

When someone cusses me out, I end the relationship.

I think profanity is a fruit of anger, bitterness and wrath.

In Ephesians 4:30 the core of unwholesome talk is revealed and it says we are to get rid of it. . ¹ Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 

There are many ways to get rid of every form of malice. In my following posts I will give some suggestions on this.

Do you sometimes use unsavory words? When do you use them? What things could you do differently to choose words which uplift others?

Neglect, abuse or molestation in childhood can bear fruit in negative thinking. Injustice, helplessness and victimization are a slippery slope into negativity.

NEGATIVITY CAN BECOME A HABIT

There are some people I know that live in America and think the sky is falling! They are well taken care of, in good health, live in beautiful homes and don’t have to work for a paycheck. Yet, they are constantly complaining.

When you get to know people such as this sometimes you find out that their life is not as grand as it may seem. At some point in their life they suffered betrayal by someone they loved dearly. As a result, negative thinking becomes a habit.

In my novel, The Shattered Vase, Suzie is attacked viciously by the spirit of Betrayal. Her friend, Hope, is the person who comes to comfort her after this attack.

Sometimes people don’t have friends like Hope.

Hope not only spoke to the spiritual pain of being betrayed but also was practical in her method of healing. She helped clean up Suzie’s home, took her children to school and entertained them while Suzie rested.

Hope helped Suzie get beyond the pain of betrayal, which was essential for Suzie to heal.

NEGATIVITY CAN BE A FALL BACK

There was a time in my life when my ex couldn’t pay child support. I made such a fuss over this! I would tell anyone and everyone about it. Looking back at my life during that period I confess I was anything but Christian. I am ashamed of how I reacted to that challenge.

One of those seeds is comparison.

As a little girl when my mother would get exasperated with me she would ask me, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”

The simple fact was because I was NOT my sister. If I was, I wouldn’t have ever written a novel like The Shattered Vase.

The other fact was that my sister was twelve years older than me. It is a bit hard to be a young adult when you are just a toddler.

However, secretly I many times wondered the same thing. Why was I not more like my sister because I absolutely adored her as a little girl.https://www.theshatteredvase.com/index.php/2019/07/20/a-pelican-wishing-to-be-a-sailboat/

As I was reading through the Bible the other day I happened upon a verse which attacked comparison straight on.

Galatians 6:4

“Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct.”

The problem with comparison is that someone is always “less than”. That is not a good place to be in any situation.

In this day and age it is so easy to compare ourselves to others. Especially if you are a Facebook fan. People commonly post their perfect pictures on Facebook. It can be a very deceptive platform for reality.

I watched American Murder on Netflix.

Shannan Watts was a woman who looked like she had everything. She was always taking videos of her precious girls and posting about what a wonderful husband she had. Her home was immaculate. She seemed to come from a lovely family and had a good set of friends.

She did indeed look like she was living the white picket fence fantasy until her husband killed her and their two girls.

As I was watching the documentary I was a bit envious of her immaculate home. When I was raising my children, immaculate was never a word that could be used to describe my home. My home was full of life and sadly Shannan’s became a home full of death.

FACEBOOK is a wonderful platform for connecting.

It can also be an insidious platform for the evil of comparison. I don’t get on Facebook that much but if I do and I start rejecting myself because I don’t seem to measure up to some of my friends I shut it down immediately.

It is wise to identify how the devil can undermine the beautiful creation that God created when he formed you. Rejection is one of his foremost tools. When you have been rejected as a child it is your choice as to whether or not you allow that to enter your consciousness as an adult.

In my novel, The Shattered Vase, Suzie is rejected by her mother, Barbara. The rejection is so horrid it leads her to the brink of suicide. You would think that God would want to protect her from her mother from this point on wouldn’t you? Estrangement and walking away from toxic relationships is what most contemporary psychologists would recommend.

However, in The Shattered Vase there is another path which beckons to Suzie. She is led by the Holy Spirit to do something which takes great courage and strength to do. Suzie chooses to follow this lead and extend love to her mother instead of hate or estrangement.

To learn more about how to overcome evil I invite you to purchase The Shattered Vase by clicking on the following link.https://www.amazon.com/Shattered-Vase-Battle-Life-Book-ebook/dp/B07KRNQ6NW

Have you experienced comparison or rejection in your life? If so, how have you overcome the obstacle which was meant to defeat you?

As I become closer to God, He has put people in my life who are truly good friends. One instance is a man whom I have dated on and off for more than ten years.

God has worked in this man’s life to change him. Initially when I met him he was quite a drinker. I wouldn’t call him an alcoholic but he did like to drink. As I began to tell him about my relationship with God, he began to decrease his drinking. He then started reading the Bible every morning.

Then I started reading the Bible every day this year. I am on a journey to read through the entire Bible in the span of a year. It has made such a difference in my life! I truly treasure that time of meditation.

This man is one of my good friends.

He is also very generous. It is uncanny. I merely need to think to God that I may need something. I do not speak a word of my need to this man and he provides it for me. This has happened more than once. I have never had someone provide for me without even letting them know what I need.

This has become more prevalent since I decided to follow God’s will for my life to become a Christian author. It has been an immense blessing.

I have other friends.

Over the past few years I have become involved in some singles groups. I tried hard to fit into one of the groups but did not feel as if I belonged. Then I found another group that was a Christian group. This group and the lady that leads it has become a lifeline for me.

The other day I was feeling a bit anxious. I had not seen most of my friends for a bit of time and I missed them. My heart was weighing heavy and I got a phone call from the lady who leads the Christian singles group I am a part of. She invited me over for dinner.

She invited another male friend and a male friend that was staying with her for a few days made a delicious meal for all of us. Whenever I get together with this group I am amazed by the quality of men it attracts. They are all wonderful Christian men who respect the women in the group. This is why I feel comfortable attending the group functions even if I am dating someone outside of the group.

For more reading on my wonderful friends please click on the following link. https://www.theshatteredvase.com/index.php/2019/08/07/book-signing-success/

The best friends are God friends.

When I was a little girl I chose friends because I thought they needed me. One of my best friends in grade school was chosen on this basis. No one else liked her so I decided to become her friend. However, when the tide turned and no one liked me she abandoned me.

As I have grown into an adult I have realized that it is important to have friends who are well liked. More important than that is the connection they have to God. That way if I get a nudge from the Holy Spirit to call or text them I know that they need the contact. In the same way, when I am feeling alone and anxious the Holy Spirit can nudge them to invite me to dinner. It is a win-win.

What standards do you set for collecting friends?